Etiquette
The mere fact that you are in a country with (probably) a completely different culture and etiquette to your own, means that much of what you see in every day life here is new... or weird... or different... or incomprehensible... These differences can take quite a bit of adjustment, which can be hard for someone who only has a couple of weeks here, with little or no knowledge of the language.
Never fear, we are here to guide you through the basics, helping you to navigate the choppy waters of Thai and hilltribes etiquette.
The Thai people are generally pretty laid back, happy and relaxed. Most understand that foreigners aren't aware of some of the cultural taboos and general etiquette, so are quite forgiving if someone makes a mistake. They are less understanding if the mistake is to do with royalty or religion (Buddhism), or if the foreigner is being deliberately rude or ignorant. Below, in no particular order of importance, are some pieces of information to help you avoid being the latter.
Take your shoes off
The title says it all really - in Thai culture, the shoes come off before entering a home, some shops and businesses, temples, and classrooms. Supermarkets and large shops are exempt, but if you are unsure then just look to see if there are other pairs of shoes outside the room/building/shop. There is often a sign in Thai and/or English outside, but if it's still unclear then someone is usually on hand to let you know.
The point of the exercise is to not bring mud, dirt and dust into the house, which is common sense. Thai's therefore are often left scratching their heads when foreigners wander around outside with no shoes on, and then go into the house with feet covered in dirt, etc...
Advice: shoes ON outside, OFF inside...
No PDA
Public Displays of Affection. Thailand and SE Asia generally is a very modest, shy, embarrassed society when it comes to PDA between males and females. Northern Thailand even more so than the south of the country. PDA between friends of the same sex is commonplace, but between partners is hardly ever seen outside the family home. It even extends to not holding hands in public. This doesn't include your children, so feel free to cuddle and kiss them instead.
Head and feet
The head is the most important part of the body, the feet the least important. The head is considered sacred - the vessel of knowledge and learning, the seat of wisdom - while the feet are deemed dirty, the lowest part of the body which touches the dirt on the ground.
You should never touch the head of anyone older than 6-7 years, as it is considered very rude and derogatory. Ruffling the hair of young children is not a problem, but the older the child the more difficult it gets to make a judgement call.
Advice: Play it safe and don't touch anyone's head at all
A list of things NOT to do with your feet - remember, they are the WORST part of the body for Thais..!
- DO NOT point with your feet
- DO NOT show the bottom of your feet (ie laying down with legs extended towards someone else)
- DO NOT close doors, etc with your feet
- DO NOT have your feet higher than someone else's head
- DO NOT push or kick something with your feet which should be picked up and passed
- DO NOT step on a coin or bank note with your foot - insults the image of the king
Advice: Recite a mantra continously... "Never with the feet, never with the feet, never with the feet..."
Do not insult the monarchy
Thais will not be very forgiving if a foreigner insults the monarchy. In fact it is dicing with your freedom as there have been a number of cases where foreigners have been jailed for this reason. Again... Insulting the monarchy is illegal.
- DO NOT insult the monarchy
- DO NOT deface any pictures of the monarchy
- DO NOT climb any statues of the monarchy
- DO NOT deface coinage or bank notes
- DO NOT step on a coin or bank note
- This is a big one... !!DO NOT ENGAGE LOCALS IN CONVERSATION ABOUT THE MONARCHY!!
Advice: Make sure you know what the king (and the previous king) look like
Stay modestly dressed
One of the biggest issues here with foreigners is the different cultural thinking towards clothing, predominantly for women. Thailand is very conservative in this regard. Thais at the seaside go swimming in T-shirts and shorts, sunbathing is not really done (most Thais are mortified of the thought of getting a tan). If you don't want to stand out like a sore thumb, and be the subject of gossip, dress like the Thais do - not the bar girls though...
- No strap tops
- Cover your shoulders
- Cover your cleavage
- No short shorts (down to the knee)
- No bikinis when swimming or sunbathing
- No yoga pants or leggings
In this regard it's a pretty antiquated way of thinking, but it's the predominant way of thinking so life will be easier for you for the short time you're here to go along with it. After all, you're not coming to embarrass or insult the locals, or their culture.
Respect images and statues of Buddha
Buddhism is the state religion - around 89% of citizens are Buddhist. Thais are therefore very sensitive about all things Buddha.
- It is illegal to take an image of Buddha out of the country without an export licence - someone can sell it to you, but you are breaking the law as soon as you try to leave Thailand with it
- Don't climb on statues of Buddha (or any other statue for that matter)
- Buddha images should be placed highest in the room, so that nothing else is higher than Buddha's head
- Don't take photos of Buddha images
- Don't take any photos inside a Buddhist temple (the main 'bote', or central building - outside is not a problem)
Temples
- Please dress modestly, as mentioned above, and wear covered shoes (not flip flops) when visiting a Buddist temple
- No photos inside the main 'bote'
- Shoes off before entering the main 'bote'
- Walk clockwise around the temple
- Do not step on thresholds, step over the threshold to avoid bringing bad spirits into the room
- NEVER kill anything inside temple grounds, not even mosquitoes
- DO NOT touch a monk
- Girls - DO NOT pass anything to a monk. Put it on the ground, or on the piece of cloth the monk lays down, so that he can pick it up.
Spoon and fork
No knives over here really, well apart from the big machetes used to chop down bamboo. Thais use a spoon and fork - the fork pushes the food onto the spoon, and the spoon is put in the mouth. Thais find it strange that anyone would risk stabbing themselves with a fork. Chopsticks are only used for certain dishes, generally of Chinese origin. Chopsticks are not native Thai cutlery.
Wai an older person first
The Wai replaces the handshake in Thai society. The more respect you wish to show someone, the higher your hands go.
- Don't wai children
- Don't feel you have to wai someone who is much younger than you
- Don't wai shop assistants, restaurant staff, etc
- Don't wai other foreigners (you'll look ridiculous)
- If you have something in your hands, you can still perform the wai (if physically possible...)
- If you're not sure about another's age, wai first
- Make sure your palms touch together (as in a praying gesture), and your elbows tuck into your sides. This is a wai for equals or for those whose status you don’t yet know.
- For slightly more respect, the fingertips climb to the tip of your nose.
- For people of high standing or older people, your fingertips touch level with your eyebrows.
- And lastly, for royalty and monks, a very high wai (with fingertips touching hairline) would be accompanied by a bow from men or a curtsy from women.
Note, Thais don't expect foreigners to know or perform the wai, so don't be surprised if someone who should wai you first doesn't... in which case don't wai them.
Advice: Wai when someone wais you first, unless it is a child
Don't throw things
It's considered impolite to throw something instead of passing it, especially books which are viewed as fonts of knowledge and generally treated with reverence.
Don't open gifts
It is considered impolite to open a gift received while still with the person who gave it
Don't step over people or food
That's it - don't step over people when they're laying down, or over food. If someone is blocking a passageway with their legs, then you need to wait until they move or indicate you need to get past but cannot because their legs are in the way - if they're Thai, they'll understand the dilemma you're in!
No to begging children
It's not Thai culture, it's a means of reducing the number of children forced to beg on the streets and in the tourist areas. Many are kidnapped and forced into gangs from an early age, and successful begging reinforces the gangs commitments to the scam. If you wish to help begging children, donate to a foundation which is working in that field (like our Bangkok office).
- Category: Etiquette
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Etiquette